With the flamboyance and directness that is so typically Salman, the actor rips into the media, mobs, and those making a living off targeting stars. Sharp, edgy, and mostly painfully true
Oh, and almost all of it is in Hinglish – there’s no way a translation would bring out the flavour
- Pakistan se log yahaan nahi aate? Hamare mantri interviews nahi dete Pakistani journalists ko? Meri ek girlfriend Pakistani thi. Sania Mirza ne Pakistani ladke ke saath shaadi ki... Hai kya problem?
- Yeh nahi ki aa ke bas bol diya, ‘corruption hai, yeh kar lo’... corruption bohot hi fashionable word ho gaya hai abhi. Jahan aapne corruption ka topic utha diya, log follow karne lagey...
- Black buck case mein 300 witness hain. Haathi maar do Flora Fountain par, char witness nahin milenge aapko!
- Masjid ke andar chale jao, to aisa lagta hai ki jaise hamari wajah se sab ki niyat toot rahi hai. Then you feel it’s better not to go. Yeh bheed kyun lag rahi hai hamare peeche, hum to ek intention se gaye hain. Yeh sab theek hai – but not at places like these.
How do you endure the same set of questions over and over again, year after year, the inanest ones too, without reacting?
Years of practice, sir!
I can’t guarantee that I won’t react at any point, though. Kya hota hai ki joh first lot poochega, baaki wohi poochne lagte hain… Ek hope hoti hai ki koi tedha jawaab mil jayega, irritate ho jayenge, headline ban jayegi – toh poochte rehte hain. Kya karein abhi? Hamein takleef yeh hoti hai ki haemin pata hai ki ab yeh level ho gaya hai questions ka – haemin jawab dena hai ab iska.
At worst you can make it uninteresting. TV wala fan can make out ab yeh bore ho gaya hai. But when the interactions become boring, na woh audience ke liye koi fayada hai, na TV channel ke liye koi fayada hai, na hamare liye koi fayada hai.
Simple si cheez hai lekin itne layers hain isme. Ek sawaal poocha jaata hai aap se, thoda sa aise manner me jawaab do ki bina baat ka viwaad na ho jaaye. Kabhi koi baat nikal gayi to sab usko le kar headline bana daal dete hain. Sensation banate hain. Unke kaam karne ke tareeke me shayad yeh unke liye zaroori ho gaya hai. Hamare liye lekin bohot boring ho jaata hai. Aise sawaal aate hain ki Einstein bhi na de paayein unka jawaab.
What sort of questions have you been facing about the Pakistani elements, the reactions across the border?
If a Pakistani makes a movie that involves India, our censor board will take a call if it can be screened here, and the reverse also applies. In any case, we are not making documentaries, we are simply making movies to entertain people, telling stories, and we try not to unnecessarily create controversies or hassle fans, in whatever country they may be.
You must have had to watch what you say about Pakistan. When you spoke your mind on a Pakistani channel after 26/11, there were many who tore into you, you issued an apology.
Us waqt, jo maine suna, wohi dohrayaa thaa maine. Maine koi ‘clean chit’ nahi di. Maine apna opinion diya, bas. Maine kaha thaa ki itni jagah aur blast hue, tab koi shor nahi macha, hamare ghar ke paas yeh hua to ab sab baat kar rahein hai.
Log bolne lagey, aapne Pakistani journalist ko interview diya! Arrey, kahan likha hai ki nahi de sakte? Kahan likha hai ki Pakistan mat jao? Pakistan se log yahaan nahi aate? Hamare mantri interviews nahi dete Pakistani journalists ko? Meri ek girlfriend Pakistani thi. Sania Mirza ne Pakistani ladke ke saath shaadi ki... Hai kya problem? Ek taraf aap kehte ho let’s work for peace – and if somebody says, let’s try to work together to solve things, usko aap gaali de rahe ho? Kamaal hai yaar!
Political tag laga loon main, ya Press ka card bana loon, aur phir kuch bhi boloon? Lekin hum ko is format mein jaana nahi hai. Agar aap pachaas log khade kar dein ek jagah par (to raise slogans against me), main paanch lakh nahi khade kar sakta?
Lekin hum ko yeh nahi karna. Iska matlab ki people take advantage of me, ki hum bewakoof hain? Kamaal hai yaar yeh!
Hum ko ehsaas hai ki jo mere fans ko yakeen hai hum par. Maine Pyar Kiya se aaj tak fans saath rahe hain, badhte hi gaye hain. Lekin humko in sab baaton mein nahi padna hai. Achche raste pe chalna hai. Being Human start kiya hai, isko badhana hai. Helping ki taraf chalna hai. Kisi to paise higher education de sakte hain ki jin se life ban sake, aur hum afford kar sakte hain woh paise, to hum karenge. Aap hamari madad karo agar aap kar sakte ho. Hum bheekh nahi maang rahe. Hum charitable trust se business kar rahen hain, sustainable bana rahe hain.
We’ll never see you in politics?
Bilkul nahi. Bilkul bhi nahi. Yeh jo kar rahe hai, issi ko badhate jayenge, itna badhayenge ki hamare marne ke baad bhi chalta jayega yeh.
Yeh nahi ki aa ke bas bol diya, ‘corruption hai, yeh kar lo’... corruption bohot hi fashionable word ho gaya hai abhi. Jahan aapne corruption ka topic utha diya, log follow karne lagey... kya hai? Arre bhaiya, pehle bolo logon ko ki paise mat do! Corruption wahan se nahi shuru hua ki ek aadmi maang raha hai; corruption wahan se shuru hua ki ek aadmi de raha hai, ki hamari life easy kar do.
Bewakoofi ke sting operation karte rahte hain. Ladki bhej rahe hain, ladki bhej rahe hain... chauthi baar bhejenge toh the guy will say, aa ja, itna insist kar rahi ho toh! Ab uske upar aap TV pe le ke aao.
Boss kya briefing de ke bhejta hai? Ki dekho beta, yeh bohot hi chichora aadmi hai, aap jao, isko tempt karo. Yeh aapka job hai. Woh ladki kya bata ke aati hai apne maa-baap ko ki mera assignment kya hai? Maa, Bhaiya, Babuji, mujhe job diya gaya hai ki main apni khoobsoorti se chichore logon to tempt karoon ki woh aa ke mujh se chedchad karein! Waah beta, waah!
Yeh hota hai sting operation?
Ek aadmi jaa raha hai producer ke paas, kehta hai mere paas black money hai, black money hai – achcha bhaiya, jaisi bhi hai, lagao! Tax badhate jayenge har cheez par toh black money society mein phir se revive hona shuru ho jayegi.
Sting karna hai to jahan asli corruption hai, wahan karo.
Aur har cheez pe aata hai, arrey this is journalism. What journalism? Arrey this is a media case... what media case? Yahan koi kanoon se nahi chalega?
Kisi ke baare me koi bhi bolega, except uske jo phansa hua hai, woh apne defense mein nahi bol sakta, ki aisa nahi, aisa hua thaa, arrey, main to thaa bhi nahi wahan par!
This is about the black buck trial?
Anything. Anything. Woh subjudice ho gaya… Black buck case mein 300 witness hain. Haathi maar do Flora Fountain par, char witness nahin milenge aapko!
Abhi Sohail ki gaadi ka ka jo accident hua hai , they are trying to put Sohail behind the seat. It just doesn't make any sense! Salman chala raha thaa, Sohail chala raha thaa… kis kis ko bolenge, nahi chala raha thaa bhai! Aap phir court mein fight karo. Maan loh to waise bhi channels ki story nahi banti…
And the irony is – woh bechari aurat, uske bachchone ne usey ghar se bahar nikal diya, woh plastic se apne to dhak kar zameen par padi hui thi. Driver ko laga zameen pe plastic hai. Ussey pata bhi nahi thaa ki kya hua. Jab ussey roka and he asked, kya hua, was when he was told, you’ve run over somebody. Woh bechari 15-20 din sey kahin koney me so rahi thii, in a corridor somewhere. The building people said, she’s smelling bad, take her outside – there were maggots coming out of her body. That’s in Bandra. That’s our concern. That’s why she was sleeping on the road covered in a plastic. No one gives a damn!
But this is supposed to be only on Sohail’s conscience, you mean?
Not just that. Aur phir jokes aa jaate hain - now they’ve taught their drivers too. Kuch karne ko hai nahi, we train our drivers to run over people, right… I’m totally aware of these things.
Char hazaar accident roz hote hain. 950 rupaye ki bail hai sabko. Hamari bail kyun nahi hui 950 rupaye ki?
Alchohol test ek din baad, shaam ke 5.30 baje. Pehle din shooting ke liye ja rahe they, Garv ke liye. Din ke 12.30 baje. Ab kaun ********* film ki shooting ke first day subah subah pi kar jayega? Poori investigation ho gayi. Woh jo road hai, there’s barely space for a car to move, dono side parking hai, 11 speed breakers hain before you come on to the main road – you cannot speed on that road! Lekin jab ho gaya, toh the first thing is, Salman Khan ne yeh kar diya, woh kar diya. Culpable homicide! As if one was attempting to murder people.
Anyway, these topics are…
Talking of controversy, you had a very messy crowd control scene in Lucknow recently during the movie’s promotion. That strengthens your inclination to avoid trips to the smaller cities since there’s chaos, quite frequently?
Dekhiye response in sab jagahon se milta hai. Kahi hamara kartavya banta hai ki hum wahan bhi reach out karein. Lekin reach out karne ke chakkar mein buzurg pis jaate hai, badtameezi ho jaati hai jawan ladkiyon ke saath, bachche dab jaate hain… khuda na khasta koi gir-vir gaya, ek dar lagta hai. Ab jaise mall ke andar chale gaye. To wahan railing ke upar itne saare log – woh railing itni taakatwar nahi banai gayi hai ki uske upar itne saare log jhoolein, hazaron ki tadaad me jhool rahe hain. Agar woh toot jaaye, to kahin na kahin woh responsible star ho jaata hai. Aur woh hospital bhi nahi ja paata hai kisi ko dekhne ke liye kyunki hospital me bhi sab ka attention divert ho jaata hai, bheed ho jaati hai – you know, it becomes messy. Log ICU patient ke liye aaye hain aur achanak “oh my God it’s Salman” ka shor ho jaata hai.
Jaise abhi Rajesh Khanna sahab ka jab inteqaal hua – aap aaye ho wahaan. Ab itne bewakoof kyun ho – ek senior kalakaar ka intequaal ho gaya hai aur aap stars ko dekhne aaye ho? Chalo woh bhi theek hai, par decorum toh rakho. Gaadi pe jump kar rahe ho, jaise koi mela, koi tamasha ho raha hai. Us aadmi ne itna kaam kiya hai, ek dignity toh do usko.
Masjid ke andar chale jao, to aisa lagta hai ki jaise hamari wajah se sab ki niyat toot rahi hai. Then you feel it’s better not to go. Yeh bheed kyun lag rahi hai hamare peeche, hum to ek intention se gaye hain. Yeh sab theek hai – but not at places like these.
Isliye lagta hai ki jahan theek se control nahi ho pata hai properly, better hai nahi jao. Kai baar to mere saath hua hai ki airport me departure lounge se nikle hain aur arrival gate se wapas andar bhej diye gaye hain – police have come and said, yahan control nahi hoga, aap chale jaiyee yahan se. Which is a sensible thing.
So you don't go to places because you don't want drama, you don't want chaos, arre woh andar nahi ghusey, woh to dar gaye, all that… and you don't want anyone to get hurt in chaos, the hysteria.
Aur ek bohot hi embarassing kaum paida ho gayi hai Hindustan mein, jo kisi bade aadmi ka fayda utha kar ek leech ki tarah badhna chahte hain. Bus unka ek hi maqsad hai ki inko pareshan karo. Uparwale ne inko thoda nawazaa hai, toh inke saath thoda naam jud jayega toh hamare mohalle mein, hamare shahar me hamara bhi naam ho jayega. Yeh hai unka life ka claim to fame. Humne inke upar ek case thok diya, ek PIL thok diya. Publicity ke liye TV pe aa jaate hain log. Aur encourage bhi hota hai, I don't know why. I don't know why the police and the courts even accept and encourage this.
I’m not necessarily a fan of your brand of cinema, but, to borrow a word from the current vocabulary, and I can’t think of an exact equivalent, aisa nahi ki kaafi saare chichore type ke log seem to love the game of edging you on, provoking you, throwing stones, so to say?
Sahi word hai, correct word hai. Chichore, kaiyaan, aur kai words hain – yeh to aap record kar rahe ho, warna aise words ki toh main bauchaar kar doon. Gaaliyan films ki script me itni aa gayi hai aajkal, woh gaaliyan toh aise logon ko padni chahiye
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