The Fears and Disappointments of a FAN by Shalu

What does it mean to be a fan of an actor? To me it means the occasional euphoria and a series of disappointments. Sometimes I feel it is a curse to be a die-hard fan as it brings me much more heartburn than happiness.

I like a lot of actors but am a die-hard fan of Shahid Kapoor. Which means waiting for long periods for a new film of his since he does very few movies. And that is the least of my problems as a fan.

The real heartburn starts as soon as the promos of his upcoming film hit the screens / TV / internet. This means spending an enormous amount of time on youtube, twitter and other social networking sites (including NG) trying to get an idea of the audience reaction to the promos. A mostly positive feedback makes the sun shine brighter and negative feedback gives that horrible sinking feeling.

The beginning of the promos is also the beginning of the fear – the fear of the buzz not being good enough for a big opening weekend, the fear of the movie getting negative WOM. So each and every new promo brings its own excitement as well as more fear (and more internet surfing)

The best and worst time is when the release is only a couple of days away. The advance booking starts. This is the time of frantically checking out bookmyshow.com for the status of advance booking…..
Wednesday afternoon – nothing much happening!
Wednesday evening – is this all?!
Thursday morning – hmmmmm.
Thursday afternoon – this isn’t bad….or is it?
Thursday evening – oh God, what’s gonna happen tomorrow?!

Then the advance critics reviews start trickling in on twitter along with early audience reviews from places like Dubai and Fiji where the film releases a day or two early. One guy in Dubai called the movie a masterpiece! Yayyyy!! Wait……another guy just called it crap! Eeeks! Umm….not to worry…every movie has mixed WOM these days…haha!

The movie finally releases and boxofficeindia.com becomes as important as bookmyshow.com. How was the Friday morning opening? Did BOI say the word of mouth is mixed?! The agony of sitting in office all through Friday, frantically reading every critic and audience review that comes out with fingers permanently crossed. And then office is over and its straight to the neighbourhood theatre – its showtime!!

Or is it? The problem of being a die-hard fan is that one can’t even enjoy his/her favourite actor’s movie fully because half the senses are tuned to the reaction of the audience sitting around. Did they laugh at the right places? Are they involved with the movie? Is that idiot in the fourth row checking his mobile? Does that mean the movie is not able to hold his attention?

Somewhere in my heart of hearts I know when the movie is not up to the mark. But the hope of a fan doesn’t die. After all so many shitty movies go on to become hits, so why not this one? So its back to good old internet – now as eager to follow the box office figures of the movie as the audience feedback. A good opening makes me proud as if it is my personal achievement. A below-par booking has me looking for excuses that involves the drawbacks of everybody associated with the movie other than my favourite actor! So did the movie pick up in the Friday evening shows? Did it fall on Saturday or was it steady? Sunday is usually good but what about Monday?

Some films manage to be steady on Monday and that is the time when all the hard work of the last few months seems to pay off. The film has been accepted! But……more often than not, the movie drops on Monday and the secret fear turns into full blown disappointment. Now his market value will drop, his rivals will move ahead and leave him behind. Not to mention the ridicule I will face from my friends and colleagues for promoting the movie for ages. And of course the negative reviews on NG dripping with sarcasm and ridicule….

Yeah, being a die-hard fan is more hell than heaven. You should know – after all you have been reading this write-up with your favourite actor’s name in place of Shahid. Am I right or am I right?